Sorry :-)

I realize that it's been over 2 months since I put anything up on my blog. I have been busy but not too terribly. The big news is that my cousin Beth and I have decided to rent a house in the big metropolis of Corunna, IN and we are in the process of moving. I guess another piece of big news is that I was promoted at work and am now the Team Leader (aka supervisor) at the Promise House which is a crisis stabilization home for the mentally ill. I love my new job and my staff. It's been challenging transferring from one position to the other but overall it's been a pretty smooth transition.

I promise I'll get some pics up here of the new house when I remember to take some. We haven't actually moved in yet but will in less than 2 weeks! It's out in the country and it's the first time that I've actually ever lived in a house other than my parents.

I've been contemplating alot about my life in the past couple of weeks and wondering where God is leading me and who He is bringing into my life. I've become very attached to the people at my church and often find myself feeling hurt when I'm not invited to even the simplest of things. I've been noticing I'm wanting to be around people all the time right now and I think it's because I'm afraid to be alone! I'm at a stage in life where I desparetly want a family but am getting the impression from God that it might not be in His plans for me and now I need to figure out how to change those "life plans" that we all create for ourselves as teenagers and see how I can adapt to my life the way it is. I think I've spent alot of my life living and waiting for what I've dreamed of to come true and too often I've missed parts of my life that I won't get back. I'm trying to live more for today and let tomorrow be tomorrow but that's not always easy to do.

Update on my mom! She has been doing chemo again for 2 months but last Friday at her appointment she found out that the cancer is growing and growing kinda quickly. We don't know where it's growing at yet but only that it's increasing even though she's getting chemo every 2 weeks. She was kinda bummed Friday night but seemed to be having a better day yesterday when she helped me and Dad move some things into the new house. She's been fighting for a while now and I think it's very frustrating for her to not get much good news. She's fighting but the stupid cancer is fighting to win as well. Keep her and my Dad in your prayers as we find out what lays ahead for us on this road.

so mom had surgery last tues in indy for a hysterectomy and debulking of any possible cancer sites....dad, rayanne, and i went down with her on tues....dad and i stayed the night in the hospital and then rayanne came back down on thurs since dad and i came back to work on thurs....the surgery went great....within like 10 hours she was sitting up in the chair and was defintely wanting something to drink...they had her be NPO from Sun afternoon at like 2 until Thurs morning....that's a hell of a long time to go without any food or water....but she did it and kept her humor as well....mom got mad at me a couple of times for making her laugh cuz she said that laughing was the worst pain especially when they've cut you open from like your belly button down to your pubic bone.....so she did great at the hospital....got to come home on friday.....came out to the poker run on sat for a while and went to church and a grad party on sun...........bad news again!!!! welll why they were in there i guess they filled her with this liquid and then sucked it all out again and then tested it for cancer....that along with the nodules from her bladder that they found in surgery and the organs that they removed they tested all of them for cancer this past week.....well she got the report back today that all of that showed up as having live cancer cells in them which means that in a less than a month or so she will have to start chemo all over.....it sucks cuz she was really hoping that with the first round of chemo and the surgery that she would have gotten rid of more of it but it kinda seems to me like instead of dying it's still growing....i think this way because organs that hadn't shown up as being active before now are.....my mom is one of the strongest people i know and she doesn't give up easy but i could tell in her voice today that the light that was at the end of the tunnel is not flickering as bright today....she wanted to go back to work on july 1st but it's now looking like she may have to start chemo before then and since it will be different chemo she will have to see how her body will adjust before she goes back which means that she probably won't have a job since she is technically already out of FMLA for the year but that's just another bridge we will have to cross when we get there.....at this point though she is still planning on going with my dad and I to florida for the kiwanis convention at the end of June so hopefully we will be able to enjoy that before all of this chemo crap starts back up!
Your prayers are much appreciated and if you could continue them we would appreciate it even more! Thanks for all of the thoughts and kind words people have shared with my family!

Mom and Dad's new puppy "Dude"

k so my computer has been retarded lately and likes to type the letter o on it's own and then when i want it to type an o it doesn't always let me.....very frustrating.....this week has been very stressful at work with 3 of my clients getting sent to a local inpatient unit and 3 others getting sent to our Promise House (acute respite home) meaning that there has been alot of psychotic and sick people this week.....i'm not much into astrology but i'm beginning to believe that there is a connection between a full moon and psychosis. We also had a client of the center committ suicide and another one of my favorite clients passed away yesterday....i'm not sure i can handle much more stress this week....

i was off all last week in Indy for an ACT conference and I've definitely made up for it this week in work and stress.....the conference was amazing and i loved meeting people from all over the world and i felt bad for leaving the team short handed.....but i needed a break. But coming back to all this week has made me think that i may go crazy as well. Losing clients to death is something that i'm not sure how to handle yet....This is the 2nd one of my clients that we've lost since I started last July. It's tough because we become these people's families in a lot of ways because their real families can't deal with their problems and we spend so much time with them...so when they die it's almost like losing a close friend or family member.....it's sad because both of these people overcame their psych problems and the medical problems are what killed them....it's makes me think alot about the order of life and why we do the things that we do.....

alright well i've been sitting at lutheran hospital since 11am with a client that is having ear surgery and i've just been informed that i can go get something to eat so that's where i'm headed....i know the page is still kind of boring but i'll get some pics posted when i get them off my camera......

New to blogging!

So I've finally decided that since I love checking out other people's blog maybe I should get one of my own. And I was also thinking that maybe this could be a bit of a de-stresser for me cuz Lord knows I need that right now. I'm sure it will be a work in progress and hopefully not be so blank in the near future. But since I'm at work and probably should be doing something more productive I'd better get busy!